Dear Conservatives – by Lucy Watson

lady1Dear Conservative Right Wing,

Sorry to interrupt you. I know you’re very busy reading Andrew Bolt, and listening to Alan Jones. But I would just like to thank you. For through your insightful social commentary both online, and through other forms of media (and policy) you have shown me the error of my ways.

I had always thought it a good thing to strive for human equality, and to try and do what I can to create a world where people have the opportunity to achieve happiness, regardless of gender, race, socioeconomic background and sexual preference. I had always thought that it was important to protect this beautiful world of ours for future generations, even if that meant some commercial sacrifices.

This is what I had thought, and been lead to believe through my years of education – particularly my degree in history – and my travels to many countries across the world. Through my friendships forged with people who have very different backgrounds and nationalities to mine. Through seeing disasters, both natural and man made. From seeing poverty, and reading about injustice not just in other countries, but right here in my own.

But as I have been striving to achieve these ideals, at least in my own heart, mind and deeds, and voraciously reading online debate, educating myself thoroughly on the issues I believe in, I have consistently been coming across your words of warning.

Much like the heterosexual, middle aged, white father you imagine yourself to be, you chide us for our “pinko”, “chattering” ways. For our “airy fairy” leftist idiocy. For trying to “take over the country” with our “feminazi man hating”. For daring to question you with our “namy pamby” Greenie hippie treehugging mouths.

And of course, you must be right. Because you are “the Right”. Right?

It is definitely much better to shut down the ABC, and silence the most trusted voice in our media landscape. It is much better to deny same-sex couples the same rights as you have, because you choose not to like their lifestyle. It is much better to decry the lack of female merit in the government, than question why it is that our country has only one female minister in Cabinet.

It is much better for men vying for political power to control the fates of desperate people fleeing unfathomable persecution. You are right, they are a danger to us, and our good Aussie lifestyle. After all, they’re brown, and only some of them know how to play cricket. I had thought that it was good to show compassion for other human beings, but I realise now that my compassion should be limited to sponsoring a child in Africa, rather than allowing an African child to come here. Unless he comes by plane, and overstays his visa. Then it’s obviously fine.

Yes, you are absolutely correct. We are the selfish, uneducated ones, with our heads in the sand, trying to have our own way for our own nefarious purposes. There is no evidence to support the fact that with greater education, with less ignorance, with more compassion, human beings abandon outdated and cruel ideals and practices that, although once thought to be morally just, are no longer seen as such by society. Which is why Western democratic countries still have slavery, and segregation, right?

And you’re right to tell me, as a woman, what to do with my own body. After all, what would I know? I’m only a woman. Sorry if I raised my voice. I won’t do it again.

Yes, thank you for making me see the error of my ways. It’s much better here in the dark. It’s much safer for me, and for everyone if we all just accept our place in the patriarchy, and don’t question minds much greater than ours.

Thank God (who I’m now completely certain exists) for you. In 50 years from now, if we are still here, I am sure we will all see that you were right.

Yours sincerely,

A university educated, Greens voting, asylum seeker supporting, marriage equality advocating, outspoken, straight, unmarried, childless woman in her 30s.

AKA your worst nightmare.


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