Wombats poop in cubes

Cows can’t climb down stairs

Due to extreme vertigo, or maybe the construction of their legs, cows can’t climb down stairs. Neither can donkeys. Goats can climb fucking sheer cliff faces, so I’m assuming stairs are no worries.  Cows can climb up stairs though, apparently. Which was handy in Mayan times, when they wanted to sacrifice cows to the Gods […]

Sharks can’t stop swimming

Sharks can’t stop swimming, or they DIE!! It is imperative that water moves over their gills constantly, so they can’t stop swimming ever. No naps. No chilling out on a nice patch of coral. Whether they also like listening to the 90s pop hit Don’t Stop Moving by SClub7 is unknown, although highly probable. Spurious FactsIs it […]

If you put a tooth in a glass of Coca Cola it dissolves overnight

We all know Coca Cola is bad for you, right? It has like 16 spoonfuls of sugar in it. You can use it to clean rust off metals. Frankly it would be better for you if it still had cocaine in it. But did you know that if you put a tooth in a glass […]

You can survive purely on Guinness

There are many tall tales to come out of the Emerald Isle; leprechauns and pots of gold, that Westlife are credible musicians, that the rhythm method is effective contraception. One of my favourites is that Guinness has just enough nutrients in it, that if you only consumed Ireland’s favourite stout, and nothing else, you could […]

The guy who invented the segway died when he accidentally drove off a cliff… on a segway.

While I don’t wish death or misfortune on anyone, we’ve all gotta go sometime. So why not get taken out by the very thing that made you famous? It’s a bit like Steve Irwin being killed by a stingray, or Elon Musk being run over by his own ego. Spurious FactsIs it true? Is it […]

100% Australian Beef is a trademark

McDonalds aren’t shy in claiming that their burgers are made from 100% Australian beef. Because when people eat Maccas, they’re really conscious of things like providence and organic, sustainable food miles ‘n stuff.) But some hippy, vegan, science boffins ran some tests, and apparently that delicious meat patty isn’t made from 100% Australian beef at […]

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We’re all told when we’re kids that one day there will be something we’re really good at. Our talent. Our special thing. All we have to do is find out what it is…. What a load of shit. But we’re kids. And kids are idiots aren’t they? They’re so gullible they believe anything. They believe a fat […]

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  An anniversary has passed us by without any commemoration. July 1st marked six years since smoking was banned in pubs and clubs. Six, long clean years… But the time for silence has ended and I must speak for those whose lack of trachea mean they cannot speak for themselves. For I am prepared to […]

Table for One – by Lucy Watson

  “Table for one, please.” A phrase that seems to instill panic and the fear of seering judgement in many. As if the idea of sitting alone in a public space will deem them outcasts, pariahs. The girl who ate her lunch alone in the school library. The boy who had no friends. “I could […]

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