You can survive purely on Guinness

There are many tall tales to come out of the Emerald Isle; leprechauns and pots of gold, that Westlife are credible musicians, that the rhythm method is effective contraception. One of my favourites is that Guinness has just enough nutrients in it, that if you only consumed Ireland’s favourite stout, and nothing else, you could…

100% Australian Beef is a trademark

McDonalds aren’t shy in claiming that their burgers are made from 100% Australian beef. Because when people eat Maccas, they’re really conscious of things like providence and organic, sustainable food miles ‘n stuff.) But some hippy, vegan, science boffins ran some tests, and apparently that delicious meat patty isn’t made from 100% Australian beef at…

Wombats poop in cubes

Not only is a wombat the kind of playa that eats roots and leaves, but they’re also likely to deposit a cube of shit on the way out. That’s right. A CUBE! How’s that for gangster? How these bad boy marsupials came to have square shaped buttholes is unclear, but at least if you ever…

Cows can’t climb down stairs

Due to extreme vertigo, or maybe the construction of their legs, cows can’t climb down stairs. Neither can donkeys. Goats can climb fucking sheer cliff faces, so I’m assuming stairs are no worries.  Cows can climb up stairs though, apparently. Which was handy in Mayan times, when they wanted to sacrifice cows to the Gods…

Sharks can’t stop swimming

Sharks can’t stop swimming, or they DIE!! It is imperative that water moves over their gills constantly, so they can’t stop swimming ever. No naps. No chilling out on a nice patch of coral. Whether they also like listening to the 90s pop hit Don’t Stop Moving by SClub7 is unknown, although highly probable. Spurious FactsIs it…

Geraldine Quinn @ MICF 2018 – by Julian Callinan

GERALDINE QUINN – Queen Bitch As part of her introduction, Geraldine Quinn is described as underrated, and I definitely think that’s true. Her stand-up is interspersed with some delightful songs as she performs, her glamour and charisma shining through even as she describes soggy carpet and severe injuries. With a back-up of two and a…

Kelly Fastuca @ MICF 2018 – by Julian Callinan

KELLY FASTUCA – Smokin’ Kelly Fastuca has given up smoking, but her show isn’t about receiving plaudits or being smug. Instead, it’s a rambunctious trip through vices and the means with which to cope with them, wrapped in an absorbingly confessional style. There’s a lot to like about her embrace of personal revelations mined for…

Charlie Pickering @ MICF 2018 – by Lucy Watson

CHARLIE PICKERING – 59 Consecutive Minutes Arriving at Charlie’s show and joining the long line winding around the corner, it was clear he had come a long way since the early days when he was a young stand-up in the obligatory jeans and hoody, hustling, flyering and making a name for himself. I remember seeing…

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